Burning Fire

All these things have gone wrong already:
1) The thread of hope I was holding on to -the one that thinks he and I still might have somthing- was cut up into neat, little, tiny pieces when I realize that the reason he is not calling me is because he is calling the awful wench, BeBe.
2) I was told that I am "the same kind of girl" as the above mentioned Abercrombie prep.
3) I was also told that my style is like hers and there is nothing I can do to change that, because I am tall and thin.
4) I realized that I am not as different or individualistic as I had thought.
5) I see that he has dyed his hair and it looks fab. Does not help me forget about him. (Then again, the picture had "The Angles", soooo.....)
6) I realized that my life is pathetic, and that last night I actually found myself thinking that I could fix that with some hot pink eyeshaow, gold glitter, a blue mullet or silver leather pants.
7) I found myself thinking about "how great" Columbus is and wishing I was there.

Posted by Mrs. Jagger at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments

Enjoy!!!!!!
In case you weren't there to experience the "fun and mayhem" :)

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I wonder how things got this far. I wonder how they've ended up like this. Part of it seems that in no way could I have stopped it. The other part of me sees a million chances I should have used.
I guess I've learned a lot. A ton, actually. But does it make it worth it? I really don't know.
Life is one big mess. And not just mine. Life in general. I'm not who I want to be, but who do I want to be? And because I'm not that person, does it mean that I don't actually want to be them?
So, today is Monday. Fresh start to a new week. Fresh start to new ... everything. I want all new friends, all new habits, all new everything.
But, as usual, I'll fail miserably within the first 24 hours.

Posted by Mrs. Jagger at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments

I am so absoluetly exhausted. I am going to suck up all the energy I have, go out as late as I can tonight and then sleep until I can't sleep anymore tomorrow. Of course, I should hope that happens before the sun goes down, because I want to soak up the sun by my *pool* :)
I totally forgot why I starting writing, cuz I honestly cannot think of anything to say. My brain is frozen. Dead. 3/4 asleep. I would love a big feather matress with a down quilt and pillow. I also would love some fluffy to eat. Maybe chocolate mousse. Or marshmellows. Or a very frothy cappucino. Speaking of, I had a dream that we went to that Portland Brew coffeeshop. I'm sure it's cuz I was talking about it yesterday. It was ubercool in the dream. Maybe I'll go in real life now.
It was so nice to be downtown last night. I miss downtown. Feel like I haven't been in ages. Can you fathom that school let out and everyone left almost a whole month ago? Crazy. I can't believe it's summer already. This year has flown by so incredibly fast.
On a more somber note, why do people always let each down? I think I read into things too much. Someone just has an off-day and I think they hate me. I always do. It's a fatal flaw, a minor one, of which I surely have many.
Before I get too pensive, which will in turn make me relaxed, which will then make me even more tired than I already am, I'm going...

Posted by Mrs. Jagger at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

This is me and Ang's first full, official day of summer! Why I write this, I have no clue, because she is the only one who reads this, but now, instead of calling, I shall just go home in ... 3 minutes and talk to her. SO! Work is done for the day ... let the fun begin!

Posted by Mrs. Jagger at 4:26 PM | Permalink | Comments